A Journey Begins- A Rebirth at 23

What happens when you don't recognise the face in the mirror?

The face seems familiar, in that way where you know the face you just can't quiet place it.

When that face is your own you must make a choice. Do you just ramble along through a maze which doesn't make sense and is full of dead ends or do you turn the other way and embrace this change and rediscover and redefine the person in the reflection. It is a harder path but a much more exciting one.

My life defining journey started in May of 2010. We all have such a journey at one point or another.  An infinite number of circumstances surrounds a window of time that leaves us forever changed .

 My circumstances were somewhat traumatic as  in the space of an hour or two I went from a walking, talking, confident 23 year old young woman to well not walking and talking. I lost these automatic functions which the majority of us take for granted. I was trapped in my own body and nobody could tell my why I was being held prisoner. There was no phone call, no lawyer, no key to the door. I had to find my own way of breaking out of the cell. So began months of being hospitalised and rehabilitation, the logic being they may not be able to tell me what went so wrong but they could give me the tools to help me regain functioning, this became my escape plan. As the months went on I had times of anger, of grief for what I had lost and often of nothing, of feeling absolutely nothing.

I also had many moments of gratefulness as I saw others much worse off than myself and I was in awe of their ability to to handle it with such grace and strength. As of February 2011, as I sit writing this in a new city, my level of basic function is much improved and well on its way to normal. I am so grateful just to be able to walk across my street to the coffee shop.

During this time and even now I  leaned on the pillar of strength that is my mother to get through. She was the one who never gave up, though always had a back up plan when things went wrong and was forever watchful picking me up when I fell (quiet literally).

There is a new face in the mirror and the real journey has begun and it is not the one I expected. It is a journey of getting to know ones self again, of rediscovering and redefining that girl that I essentially lost in May of 2010. I'm a canvas with a background I must now fill in the details. 

A new decade has begun and a new girl has emerged unsure of who she has become but diving into finding out. A stronger girl who took lessons out of the events of 2010 but who is somewhat sadder than she was a year ago, the tears come much easier than they use to. It is a girl who also sees much more beauty in the little things.

This blog has been created to follow my journey of re-entering the world. It will be a diary of my insights and observations as I see the world in a new light and through different eyes. It will range with posts from being as intense as this first one to short stories I have written to the frivolity of fashion and beauty and everything you can think of in between. It is a concept that I'm sure will evolve into a something that I have not yet begun to imagine. 

I am so glad you are along for the ride.

Peace and Love

(For those going through a similar situation, no matter the differing circumstances, my prayers and love are with you. Know that we all have a innate strength to make it through times of trial and I urge you to have faith in yourself and surround yourself with positive people who love you as much as possible.)

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